rui: (tea in my city)
i will gladly stay an afterthought. ([personal profile] rui) wrote2011-01-18 12:17 pm
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I find it interesting to read these, so why not. I can't promise they'll be on 10 consecutive days, because pssh i am a terrible updater, but hey.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

1. I really wish you would take care of yourself. It's against the very soul of your nature, but one of these days it's going to go too far, and then where will we be.

2. Despite your age and place in life, you seem like a reasonable, mature person. That's pretty amazing to me. Go you.

3. The other day you told me that you felt like you'd failed me. I said you hadn't, and that was mostly true. You didn't fail me, not really. But you did utterly fail our friendship. The place I stand in your eyes is something I'm used to now. You made a choice, honey, and that's fine, but don't think you haven't backed yourself into a corner. All the same, I'll miss you, and I hope you do come visit eventually.

4. I'm sorry I'm so flighty. I really do adore you, I'm just utterly terrible at talking.

5. It doesn't matter how old you are, how lost in your own ego you are, how happy or unhappy you are. I will never, ever forgive you what you said, or what you've done to my family. You alienated your blood for good this time, and I hope you carry that around your neck like a stone for the rest of your small, bitter life.

6. I miss you. Our lives don't align anymore and that's sad, but I suppose it's also how siblings go, whether blood or chosen.

7. There's a whole book of things I could say to you, but I'm not sure any of them are actually a good idea. As it stands, I don't think you'll ever know how I really feel, and even if you did, I doubt you'd believe it. It's hard to tell if I even speak in a way you hear anymore over all the noise in your head.

8. It's been ten years since we last spoke, but I still wonder how you are and what you're doing sometimes.

9. You're on this amazing, heartaching journey, and it's not really in a place or a way where i can follow it. But i still have the pin you gave me, sir.

10. In some ways, I'm incredibly envious of your life. In others, I just want to hear about it, because it's so hard to imagine it all being real. And then there are the times when I just think how hard it would be to have all of that for awhile and be so far from it right now.